Six months ago my whole world came crashing down around me. I could focus on that.
Or I could focus on what happened after the fall.
Watching my husband suffer from a terminal illness and die in front of me was a defining moment in my life, but it is not the moment that defines the rest of my life. I could use it as a crutch and limp through the rest of my life as the wounded bird people expect me to be, or I could use it to elevate my thinking beyond societal norms.
I choose the latter.
Losing my husband at a young age broke my heart, but it didn’t break my spirit. It broke my family, but it didn’t break me as a person. If anything, it taught me what’s important and what’s not important.
It’s important to love people. It’s easy to love people when life is wonderful, but when life gets really tough and you feel unlovable, that’s when you really learn what love is all about.
Living this life has taught me to love harder than I ever have before, and how to understand the pain and suffering people all around us endure on a daily basis. I find myself loving the people who need it the most extra hard, and to people who haven’t experienced life changing loss, this looks like weakness on my part.
But it’s not. It’s real love.
Loving broken hearts is hard, but the broken ones are the ones who need it the most. Love equals understanding, and the people who life has beat down need more understanding than anyone. They are the people who push you away over and over again, but you have to keep showing up for them. I’m so thankful that the people I pushed away didn’t give up on me. I hope that I can be that light for someone else, and I hope I’m receptive to those who choose to keep shining their light for me.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love transcends all understanding. Love will break your heart and hurt your soul, but I have never once regretted loving someone. Loving someone makes you lovable, and if there is anything I can take away from the loss of Matt, it’s that love is really all any of us need.